La Trenza del Barrio

You have to make a conscious decision that you will not live your life to promote your trauma. It's actually one of the main reasons I am working on my personal baggage and taking ownership in how I approach relationships. And by approach, I have nothing to do with them at the moment; the romantic ones. In the past, I tried to establish boundaries far too late. I didn't know I was actually able to have boundaries and that those boundaries were able to be respected without question. It was high time I began understanding I needed to reconcile certain aspects of my trauma that I had never acknowledged to being a problem. Going to therapy, talking about it constructively, and not using it as an excuse for bad behavior is essential to growing healthy relationships. Use trauma as a tool for understanding, a tool for growth, a tool for changing behavior. Evolution doesn't come if you're stuck with your trauma; you will just stay stuck in the same cycles. The same actions resu...

Reflecting on what life is like and all of the phases my life has been through; all of the experiences that I've disclosed of the small glimpse of my life written down here as memories; all of the challenges I've overcome and what I perceived to be successes. It's all just crazy to think that I have walked in places that I wouldn't dream of walking in again; the endless attempts at trying to fit into a world that wasn't for me to fit into; the martyrdom that I so foolishly assigned myself to, as if I signed up for a lifetime course in naivete 101.  I remember the exquisite dinner menus written on placards that consisted of 5 courses and included with each course would be its own generous portion of signature wine tastings. The stunning intricate ice sculptures that when the bartenders served a martini, they poured the contents of the martini down the ice sculpture where it would travel to its base for a show stopping performance with the perfectly chilled martini be...

I'm sitting here getting my tires replaced because, well, they needed to be replaced. I had put it off for quite some time, and now that one of them has a steady leak, I bit the bullet and decided to just replace them all.  I brought work with me because I wasn't exactly sure how long it would take, so I sat down in an area where I could at least respond to emails. Just a couple of minutes after I sat down, a man with his one year old son sat down beside me. He was feeding him, spilled some of his coffee, was all thumbs until he regrouped and began feeding him again. It was so precious. I offered him some wipes because that's what parents do! But he had plenty. We then began talking about our children. He said he has three; a daughter 11, son 8, and his son he was holding and feeding, just a little over a year old. He was so kind and so patient. You could tell he was mild mannered, loving, caring, genuine. I showed him a picture of my daughter and he said, oh yeah, you can ...

There is so much on my mind that I just want to dump it all out. But I don't even know where to start. Perhaps the mind shift began as soon as I realized how inequitable my current job is and how I made the decision to look for another one, applied to the only position I would consider, and got the job. My current job changed two years ago when the university began its restructuring. I flowed with these changes to be part of a new department. My job title didn't change but they did away with my boss and I got a new one. So instead of being a part of alumni and community engagement, I became part of Academic and Student Affairs. It made sense at the time. As the job shifted, my responsibilities shifted as well. However, things were being added on, but nothing was being taken away. I was soon doing so many things that it became just too much for one person to handle. At least, too much for ME to handle. There has been no time to think, no time for professional development, no tim...