What I Have

Reflecting on what life is like and all of the phases my life has been through; all of the experiences that I've disclosed of the small glimpse of my life written down here as memories; all of the challenges I've overcome and what I perceived to be successes. It's all just crazy to think that I have walked in places that I wouldn't dream of walking in again; the endless attempts at trying to fit into a world that wasn't for me to fit into; the martyrdom that I so foolishly assigned myself to, as if I signed up for a lifetime course in naivete 101. 

I remember the exquisite dinner menus written on placards that consisted of 5 courses and included with each course would be its own generous portion of signature wine tastings. The stunning intricate ice sculptures that when the bartenders served a martini, they poured the contents of the martini down the ice sculpture where it would travel to its base for a show stopping performance with the perfectly chilled martini being the prize. The endless spreads of sophisticated handcrafted foods and hors d'eourves. The fancy flavored macarons and other specialty desserts with fancy names that were in their own display case towers for passerby's to grab and go, which certainly lead straight to the open bar. The endless amounts of booze. The soulless eyes; the talk of business; the urge for networking to brag and boast with disingenuous banter. 

Sometimes I find it amazing that I have been witness to some of the most outrageous and extreme experiences that are beyond even my own comprehension. I think now it's only to say that I have walked in those spaces and I have seen what it's like for people wishing they were something they were not, yet handled it with such ease as if it were common and normal. 

I have ended up here, in this moment, having everything that I could have ever wanted. 

How does the song go? And all I ever wanted was the simple things; a simple kind of life. 

I changed my mind when I realized what I was doing to myself. It was empowering when I could walk away in peace knowing that what I was walking away from was no longer serving me. 

What I have is family, and that is all I need. It's more than enough. 




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