La Trenza del Barrio

Story Time: years ago, I had just begun a new job with a fancy title at a university for graduate students. It was such an exciting time for me, professionally. I wanted to be involved in everything to establish not only relationships but new programs for the graduate side that were nonexistent at the time, and only done at the undergraduate level. Only a month into my new position, I was of course asked to be involved with DEI work as well as a committee for a Day of The Dead campus event. I found out what the undergraduate program was doing for Day of The Dead and was mortified. Part of their "celebration" was to bring a coffin on campus for students to crawl in and out of. Apparently, it had been done in the past. The staff and faculty on the planning committee assured me that it was "tasteful" and "artfully" done with respect. But I had a problem with it. I felt there were other ways to respond to the sacred and time-honored tradition than to have stud

I have been trying to find the right words since July. I have been trying to identify the words that would give my emotions their due justice. I'm pretty sure there is still some anger there, so I have treaded lightly and stayed silent until I knew I could practice forgiveness. It took some time to really sift through these emotions because I had not had an occasion to truly reflect on my career and the many experiences I've had that have contributed to how I see this area of my life.  I have been consistently tested on my work ethic throughout the years; and this time around was no different. The thing about this time is that I was unwilling to compromise my work ethic and integrity any further, seeing the very position I found myself in, set me up for failure right from the get go. It took me eight months to see clearly what was happening. When your leader is willing to report inconsistencies when it comes to data reporting, and then punish the new data person for not being a

Why is there such a stigma for people going to therapy? I will never understand that. Right now, I'm learning about therapists having therapy sessions for other therapists. It is a thing, you know.  Why on earth has therapy gotten such a bad wrap? I think it's much healthier than going from person to person with our problems. I have learned through my own toxic behavior that going to other people with my problems is the last thing I would ever want to do. That is because you bring that toxic energy to other people that don't deserve it. They don't deserve your issues. They don't deserve the obstruction to their lives. What if they don't have the proper tools to know how to respond? What if they have their own issues they're dealing with? It's an approach I'm still learning about on how to navigate relationships in general.  I know we can't always be sunshine and rainbows, but we also cannot depend on someone to be a soundboard to negativity all t

Do you remember your favorite teacher or teachers? What makes them your favorite? What makes them your least favorite?  The teachers I have had, all taught me something I needed to know. Of course as a much younger person, I didn't correlate any of my experiences with my teachers as something I needed to know at that time. I just thought I had cool ones and not so cool ones.  Teachers have been entering and exiting our lives for the majority of our lived experience. And everyone we have encountered has been our teacher in some way, not just the ones in formal k-12 education.  This is why recurring cycles happen. Until I figured out the areas of myself that needed extra attention, I was still meeting the same person with the same lesson, just from a different human. I will never forget Adam. When I was a middle school teacher about a lifetime ago, Adam and his friend were in the same section of my Spanish I class. The two were complete opposites, but they tried not to be. One was th

Life has become relatively calm.  I admit I made some drastic changes after some pretty difficult challenges these past several months which included the two main areas of my life: my job, my daughter. It amazes me that buried memories come out to the surface when you least expect them. It's like playing hide and seek, only you're hiding for 40 years and you surely don't want to seek what it is that has been in hiding. Ha! Three years ago, I made the decision to be a backer to a project that I was so proud of becoming a small part of as an executive producer. It is a film short called Grummy. It wouldn't be until three years later, after having my daughter that I actually recalled my own experiences as a child, and understanding the reason why I found myself so compelled at that time three years ago to be part of making sure that this story was made. Childhood abuse is not uncommon, it is actually so commonplace that it's scary. You'll know what I'm talking

You have to make a conscious decision that you will not live your life to promote your trauma. It's actually one of the main reasons I am working on my personal baggage and taking ownership in how I approach relationships. And by approach, I have nothing to do with them at the moment; the romantic ones. In the past, I tried to establish boundaries far too late. I didn't know I was actually able to have boundaries and that those boundaries were able to be respected without question. It was high time I began understanding I needed to reconcile certain aspects of my trauma that I had never acknowledged to being a problem. Going to therapy, talking about it constructively, and not using it as an excuse for bad behavior is essential to growing healthy relationships. Use trauma as a tool for understanding, a tool for growth, a tool for changing behavior. Evolution doesn't come if you're stuck with your trauma; you will just stay stuck in the same cycles. The same actions resu