Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind

I haven't really been able to decide how I feel. I haven't been able to really identify my emotions just yet.

My initial reactions were surprisingly calm. I think I contribute my calmness to how I have learned about my triggers and how they no longer control my life. But at the same time, I think in combination with all of my hormones all over the place and also my views on the situation, I do feel a sense of loss because of the voluntary departure of my beautiful familiar that has now become nothing more than a donor, but also a sense of abundance because of the newness of having a new tenant in my uterus.

I think as much as we try to control our lives, there is a greater power out there that shows us that we are not as in control as we think we are. Rolling with the ebb and flow of life has certainly become a lesson that is worth diving into because of how ego can take over and create chaos in an otherwise beautiful experience that should be looked upon as happening for our highest good.

I refuse to look at it any other way.

Sometimes forgiveness is all you need to get through a day of obscurity.

I just want us both to be happy.

I hold nothing but love.

You can't ever remove the memories. You just can't. But you can move past them. You can use them as tools for your toolbox of life. You work with life, not against it.  You understand where others are coming from as well as yourself. Although there is no such thing as eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, you can have eternal sunshine in a mind that chooses to be spotless. But that is only after you have done the work and healed from trauma that makes you believe that life is a tragedy instead of the comedy it truly is.

What do I want to be upset for?

Let it go.

It is time for celebration!

No regrets.

EVERYTHING happens for a reason.

Only good memories.

Goodbye beautiful familiar. Until we meet again...





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