The Apology

Have you ever received an apology for something you feel someone did to you? Do you believe you are owed an apology for the perceived wrongdoing of someone else? Does it depend on what the other person did? Is it conditional then?

It took me some time to empathize, I'm not gonna lie. This is in combination with my hormones being all over the place and me asking myself ridiculous victim-mentality questions like, why is this happening to me again? What have I done to deserve men like this? What have I done to be treated this way? Unfortunately, this is where ego can unnecessarily come in to extend one's feelings of remorse, pain, doubt, fear, betrayal, abandonment, etc.

Once I realized we are not owed an apology for something we feel someone did to us, I immediately empathized. Sure, it is nice if and when someone apologizes, which is an act that typically never happens. But that apology should be given to oneself. Whatever someone does to you, they're literally doing to it themselves. You can't expect an apology from anyone. The person on the receiving end of cruelty or irrationality, unfortunately, just got in the way of internal trauma that has yet to be resolved.

But, to forgive. To be forgiven. It is possible, if you so choose for it to be. Especially if you want to reconnect to your peace and what you feel in your heart is right.

Life as I know it, is such a mystery sometimes. It can change drastically from one day to another and when I least expect it.

With all of the wrongdoings I have been exposed to and experienced in my life, I have never received any glimpse of an apology. It takes courage to apologize. It takes humility. It takes character. It takes grace. It takes love.

After the most beautiful reconciliation I could have ever imagined, which genuinely surprised me, we decided to choose her name together: Lara Juliana. It means protection. Bright. Famous. Graceful. Leader. I know I have to believe with all my heart and soul that his intentions are pure and that he truly does want to have a presence in her life. And I do. I believe.

It may be over between the two of us, but it will never be over between the three of us.

You can't help but pay attention and understand that there are things that happen in life that are bigger than ourselves and beyond our comprehension. With time, everything reveals itself the way it is meant to.

I have hope.

And I have so much love.




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