Nurturing an Angel

I have had a lot on my mind lately. It mostly is about my baby girl.

Yesterday, I took her in for her 28th week check up; though, in about 8 days, I'll be 28 weeks. I truly love listening to her heartbeat. It gives me so much comfort.

I admit I'm getting to that point where my mind wanders a bit. I think about her, about the future, about the relationship with her father and what it will look like. I hesitate if he will change his mind again, hope she will be ok and understand to not take anything personally, you know, pretty much everything. I just don't want to fail her. She is the most important thing in my life. So important, that even as I write this, I am choked up, tears in my eyes, lump in my throat. I don't want her to feel my grief that still lingers from time to time.

She has been kicking.

I read an article today about pregnancy where there are various things I can do to bond with her while she's still in me. One of the best ones is rubbing my tummy. Every time I rub my tummy, she responds with a kick. It is so amazing, I smile and start rubbing my tummy again after she kicks, and say, "My baby!!" She has me so in love. To feel this, to have these emotions, is the most amazing gift.

Oh my god, there I go again, tears welling in my eyes again, lump in my throat again, only this time...it's love and pride and more love.

My belly is so big. I can't see my toes!

I have a little over 2 more months to go. My how time flies.

She will always have the best of me. I know I'm nurturing an angel.





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