Keeping it Light

I have had so many conversations about motherhood with so many women. Most of them, in my opinion, have been negative in nature. It's not to say that any of these mothers are miserable. They just tell me the same things. I will never sleep for the rest of my life, I will not have time for anything, I will be tired for the rest of my life, I don't know anything about motherhood until the baby is here, I won't have time to clean the house, I won't have time to do laundry, I won't have time to cook, I won't have time for basically anything. And after all of what they have to say, they end with, "but it's all worth it."

I tend to think of myself as optimistic. Lately, I have taken time to reflect on things I know still need healing. But I honestly do not want to start off being pessimistic. I know being a single mother will be challenging. But I also know that I do not want to plague my mind with thoughts of inadequacy. I'll have plenty of time for that...if I allow it.

I think my biggest advantage I have had is that I have been alone during my pregnancy. I am doing this entire thing by myself. I believe it will become a blessing in disguise because I will be prepared to having no one there to help me. And it can be seen as a good thing! I've even read articles where the mother of her children describe how a routine with her husband allowed her time to breathe, and when he would get home from work, she would be able to take a break. I won't have that luxury. And I'm ok with that. I will make my own routine.

I have been trying to keep it light. I am honestly tired of having these conversations. I know I will be exhausted. I know I will want to give up. But I won't allow my mind to take over when it comes to the most precious gift of my life. This is a matter of the heart.

I am determined to stay positive in a world filled with pessimism. I am realistic, but I do know I can either make it easier on myself or I can make it harder. I choose.



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