La Trenza del Barrio

Now that my life has completely changed, and I see it in this new perspective as a positive one, there is something about this holiday season with my daughter that I am so excited about. Any other year, I likely would have been choosing another destination to travel to. But this year, I will literally be home for the holidays, with baby girl nestled in my tummy, getting to try all of my specialty dishes that I am proud to prepare for my new family for the first time; my baby girl. I have so much love for her right now that I have already put the Christmas tree up in our home, a beautiful mistletoe, a wreath on my front door, and sparkly stockings on my fireplace mantle. I know I will add more decorations as the season progresses. I just can't help this feeling of newness and joy. Baby girl has sparked emotions in me that I have never experienced. She is my very own family. She is all I have ever wanted. And I allow every emotion to take hold of my heart, for her. This is a rene

Returning to wellness is something that is ever evolving, ongoing, everlasting. We are consistently presented with circumstances and experiences that become checkpoints. If we are presented with a challenge, will we react the same way we did ten years ago? 5 years ago? Probably not. But if we do, then there is some reevaluation that needs to take place, and a time for healing required. We cannot live life in the same way we used to when it is always changing. If we do, we will miss out on opportunities for growth, expansion, evolution. The point is to take each of those circumstances and experiences as stepping stones to where we are meant to be, with love in our hearts as we walk our sacred path. It is a unique path that is meant for every single one of us. Maybe one day we will all find what we are looking for and understand who we are as individuals at the soul level. Peeling back all of the lifetimes of layers that do not serve our highest good is not for the faint of heart.

I have had a lot on my mind lately. It mostly is about my baby girl. Yesterday, I took her in for her 28th week check up; though, in about 8 days, I'll be 28 weeks. I truly love listening to her heartbeat. It gives me so much comfort. I admit I'm getting to that point where my mind wanders a bit. I think about her, about the future, about the relationship with her father and what it will look like. I hesitate if he will change his mind again, hope she will be ok and understand to not take anything personally, you know, pretty much everything. I just don't want to fail her. She is the most important thing in my life. So important, that even as I write this, I am choked up, tears in my eyes, lump in my throat. I don't want her to feel my grief that still lingers from time to time. She has been kicking. I read an article today about pregnancy where there are various things I can do to bond with her while she's still in me. One of the best ones is rubbing my tum

It was his art that caught my eye. He started following me from his art page while I was on holiday in Puerto Rico. I would see his artwork pop up on my newsfeed from time to time, and would be so intrigued with his work and equally as curious about the man behind the art. He then began following me from his personal account, and I followed him from mine. We began messaging small things back and forth to each other. Those small things would become sentences. Those sentences would become full on conversations. He had just taken on the world of denim art, and I had to have his first piece. It was so poetic, personally symbolically meaningful, retro, and totally my style, and I knew I would pay whatever price he asked for. I don't think he believed me at first when I told him I wanted to buy it. I think he thought I was joking. But after he realized I was serious, he promised I would have his first and only one of its kind. Eventually, we would talk for hours about the various

One of the most precious things to experience and be witness to as a woman, is seeing a man's joy about his children. I have been so grateful to be witness to the innocence and purity of the love he has for our baby girl. And so thankful that he has allowed himself to feel and truly experience his emotions for her. It is undeniable that there is a spiritual connection I have with him because I feel his joy. Since the beginning, I have felt a profound bond with him that I am now convinced was meant to be experienced in this lifetime, together, even if we are apart. There is something in the way that he has expressed himself and demonstrated his love for our baby girl that showed me that he is allowing himself to feel; perhaps for the first time. I have not seen that from my own father. He has always been quiet, to himself, unexpressive. I knew the last thing I wanted was for him to not be able to express himself, emotionally. For me, too! I am with baby girl every single day, so